News from the future! IKEA launches furniture line for taller humans

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With better nutrition and the elimination of global hunger, humans are getting taller and our furniture needs to grow too, says IKEA Vice President Paul Cescon. The Swedish retailer announced yesterday that a new line for people of height will be released this summer.

“Thanks to consumption of nutritious food, decline of the fast food industry, and every human having access to regular wholesome meals, people are healthier and we’ve seen a surprising increase in height as well,” says Cescon. “This means that vintage furniture from the 20th century might as well be miniature-sized!”

Indeed, the average height of women around the world has risen to 6 feet and men to a towering 6 foot 10.

“People used to think basketball players were tall at 6-7 feet, but now that’s just average,” laughs Cescon. “Come to think of it, they should move those basketball hoops higher too.”